Nothing Witty

My cousin tried to commit suicide Monday night.
I’m upset. I’m angry. We played together as children.
He called his mom and told her “I really gonna do it this time. I’m waiting until Grandpa goes to sleep. Get here first thing in the morning and get grandpa out of here. I don’t want him to be the one to find me.”
My aunt has talked him out of this 50 times before- but for whatever reason believed him this time. She called the police. The police came- which made the dogs bark, which woke up my grandpa.
My cousin Jared yelled to my grandpa “Go back in the house and call my mom” and took off running into the dark. (this is out in the country)
The police start looking for Jared- grandpa calls Aunt Peggy who tells him he’s heading for the “stump”.
My grandpa tells this to the cops, but HELLO, its the middle of the boonies, DARKER than snot and they don’t know where the stump is! So they are searching for him.
They hear gunshots.
Jared (who is drunk) comes WALKING back up to the house, his chest blown apart, covered in blood to get more bullets to finish the job.
The police can’t see if he still has a gun.
He won’t lie down, won’t cooperate, So they have to TAZER him to subdue him to help him.
My poor grandpa saw all of this. He thought the police had shot him. They take him to the hospital. He’s in lots of pain, but is still alive.
He missed his heart by a quarter of an inch. So for right now, he will heal physically.
My Poor Grandpa is so so upset. He’s lived with Jared since Grandma has died.. Well actually a few months before. He’s taken care of Jared.
He’s now living with his son- where he should have gone from the beginning.

The problem is–Jared’s father committed suicide. Jared is an alcoholic. And he is a mean, scary drunk. He’s drank so heavily for so many years he’s mentally unstable from it. His liver is shot, his eyes are yellow and bloodshot. He has abused his body for so many years I don’t think there is any recovery from this. And he has some undiagnosed mental issues ON TOP OF the alcohol problem. I don’t know what all of them are… But Jared has been obsessed, fixated for YEARS on killing himself the way Rob did.
Jared won’t talk to anyone. He’s still in ICU.
And I would like to think that he will get help, get clean. But I do not for a moment think he will. He has no health insurance. The minute the hospital discharges him I think he will finish the job.
I think it will only be worse next time. I worry he will take someone else with him. And for his mother and family’s sake… I think this is only giving them false hope. My Aunt Peggy already found her husband dead. She shouldn’t have to find a son dead the same way.
So please don’t think me a beast when I say that I wish he’d managed to do it cleanly the first time. I just think there are some things people can’t get away from.
Can’t change.
I think some people lose.
Self 0/Demons 1.