So say you are all alone on Valentines Day*.  And say you bought yourself some Dove chocolate hearts because you are all alone.

OR EVEN WORSE, someone feels BAD for your aloneness, so THEY buy you some Dove chocolate hearts to make you feel better because they think you might be depressed or something.

And maybe you are depressed?   So you eat one and this is the message you get:

What the hell kind of a message is that?  I mean really?

Don’t worry, even though you are alone and no on loves  you GO AHEAD AND EAT SOME MORE CHOCOLATE BECAUSE CHOCOLATE LOVES YOU EVEN IF NO ONE ELSE EVER WILL!

I see the ploy here- they are trying to increase their sales… using underhanded dirty emotional tricks on people who like chocolate.

Bastards.

Updated:

SO then I was thinking about it and MAYBE they were saying  chocolate will still love you EVEN when someone else won’t because they used to love you but then you ate chocolate and now your ass is fat and so you are no longer lovable to anybody but CHOCOLATE.

Bastards.

Updated:

This just continues to piss me off, because OMG thatit sounds like something my mother might have told me: “Don’t worry, I’ll always love you back dear.” (except I don’t think my mom has ever called me dear but you get the picture.)

And I just ate another one and guess what this one says? Chocolate. Always your valentine.

Way to go, Dove Chocolate.  Always the sensitive one.

At a wedding last summer I adopted two Betta fish and named them Loo and Pedro.  From the offset, Loo never looked very well- but he continued to live and eat.  But last week he stopped eating and didn’t look so happy. He wasn’t eating, was just sitting in the bottom of his bowl looking miserable.  I was pretty sure he was not a well fish.

We had planned on buying a real fish tank for them as my valentine’s day present and so last weekend we did- we set it up and bought a divider and everything.  And I figured if anything would make Loo better it would be the brand new tank.

We put them in and Pedro went NUTS! He loved it. Swimming, flashing his gills, eating like a maniac while Loo just kindof floated.

And then he started bobbing in the current and floating sideways.  And then he died.  I made Brian get him out of the tank and flush him.

I feel terrible- but I was a good fish mommy- I changed thier water at least once a week (recommended) and fed them but not too much.  I have no idea if Loo was healthy but I did my best for him.

My sister Elena came over to pick up her taxes  and was there when Emma asked Brian what he was doing with the fish in the bathroom.

“I flushed him down the toilet sweetie, because he died.”

Emma’s eyes filled up with tears, “So you put him in the TOILET?”

Elena pipes up “It’s okay sweetie, that’s the way fish go to heaven.”  (She says this without laughing.)

Emma is comforted by this and procedes to tell her teacher the next day that her fish went to heaven in the toilet.

Pedro is happy, eating well and playing in the currents of the tank blissfully.  And yesterday we added an African Dwarf Frog who is TEENY but amazingly cute.

The problem with the Betta is I have NO idea how old they are.  So I don’t know if Loo died because he was old, or sick?  I just don’t know.

Here is hoping everyone else stays alive and well.

Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet if necessary, because they may want to kill you.

(#21.  from the Rules of Gunfighting! )