Nothing Witty

I like our wedding officiant.  Brian was against having a minister, he didn’t want to be preached at.  He didn’t want our guests preached at.  I’m totally with him on these points.  I don’t believe a wedding is the correct place to force religion on anyone.

Neither Brian or I are religious, so we don’t have a church that we attend. I was raised LDS, and there was NO WAY IN HELL I was having someone from that church marry us.  Brian’s Mom and Dad are Lutheran and Baptist, respectively, and raised Brian and Jenny without a set religion- just teaching them to be good people.  I have to say it worked, as I’ve never met better people:)  I consider myself to be spiritual, and if you ask me to define my beliefs I’d say Buddhist/Baha’i/Christian….  I’m a hodgepodge and happy to be that way.

So the hunt was on for an officiant who was acceptable to Brian.  Turns out one of my clients is a minister.  She is very sweet and very Christian, but in a good way.  I’d talked several times before to her and when I found out she was a minister…I was thrilled.   We found vows we liked, and when I met with Kären, and I showed them to her and she agreed that they were lovely. She has to put something in there to the point about being legally married according to the laws of Idaho blah blah, big deal.

I found several things that I really liked and wanted into incorporate into the ceremony, but Brian vetoed most of them.  We won’t be doing handfasting, which I really liked, no poetry readings, no musical numbers, no unity candle (its an outside ceremony!) No parent/children vows, (she’s too young) etc etc…  I’m not going to share the vows, I want it to be a surprise!  But know this- there will be chocolate and wine involved!

So here was the third thing I wanted to incorporate into the ceremony which Brian vetoed.  He said it would make people feel stupid.

Each of you are here today because you bring something special to the lives of B. and A. Some of you have known one or both of them for years – and some of you are meeting one of them for the very first time today. But whether you’re an old friend or a newly acquired relation, you have a special place in their hearts. Likewise, you have a special purpose. As beloved family and friends, it is you to whom they’ll turn in the coming years, whether in joy or in sorrow. It is you with whom they’ll share their happiness, and you to whom they’ll bring their pain. You will watch their marriage mature; you will watch their children grow.And when hard times come, and the loving support of friends and family is needed, B. and A. hope to be able to turn to you, just as they will turn to each other.

And so they ask that you commit to them, as they are committing to one another. That just as they pledge to support and protect the other, you pledge to support and protect their relationship, today and always.

When prompted, please answer “We do”.

They ask: Do you offer this man and woman your blessing as husband and wife? Please say, we do.

(We do.)

And do you offer their marriage your support, as loving friends and family? Please say, we do.

(We do.)

I really really liked it, it makes me all weepy reading it.  I asked him if I could change it so there was no audience participation if I could include it but he was still unenthusiastic.

We are including a simple prayer, which Brian said was alright.  “Might as well ask for all the help available…”

And I’d still like the incorporate the Prayer of St. Francis, not for the religious aspects, but simply because I think it so lovely…

St. Francis of Assisi

Lord, make
us instruments of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let us sow love;
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is discord, union;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
Where there is sadness, joy;
O Divine Master, Grant that we may not so much seek
To be consoled as to console,
To be understood as to understand,
To be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.

Anyway, that’s all, really.  The ceremony will probably be less than 10 minutes, but that’s not a bad thing.  Now I’ve just got to figure out the musical aspects…