Nothing Witty

There was a wee bit of a hullabaloo on Twitter today because of appliances.  We won’t go into that, as far as I can tell the more important parties are all playing nice (which is why I follow them!)

But it reminded me of my favorite appliance for years.  My ex evil step mommy Lori gave me a KitchenAid food processor and I loved it. LOVED IT.

I was pregnant, and had just married Jeff when I came home to find the lid melted.  Enough that I couldn’t use it.  So of course I inquired as to WHY my lid was melted in odd places.

Turns out that Jeff had his friend Mike over (this same Mike got so drunk he PEE’D on my bathroom floor!!!) and he brought over some glass knives? and they were using the lid (which had a shoot) to suck the smoke?

I was so pissed. Why?

#1 I take good care of my appliances,  it was 5 years old, and I used it all the time.

#2 I was pregnant, and didn’t take so much as  Tylenol, the entire time I was pregnant, and he was putting illegal drugs into something I used on a regular basis.

#3 HE RUINED IT. So even if I felt like I could have cleaned it, I didn’t have the option.  And no. He did not replace it.  And I’ve had three food processors since then and they’ve all sucked hairy goat balls. I am currently without one.

#4 He’d promised to keep his damned filthy drugs out of our house.  So he broke a promise. Again.

I should have just listened to my heart and brain and divorced him then, 2 weeks after marrying him.  He truly had no respect for me, or our marriage.  Breaking promises like that is a huge red flag. Anyway.

It’s kind of humorous now, in a way.  Except I still need a fucking food processor.  And I’m pretty sure if he hadn’t fucking melted mine, I’d still have a working one.