I’ve got wedding fever. I want to plan me a weddin. Bad. Because DAMN. I want to marry that boy. I haven’t bought a bridal magazine yet but that doesn’t stop me from reading everything on the internet wedding related.
I’ve even found the dress I think I want, although I haven’t gone in to the store to have them order it for me. I don’t want to know what it costs. You can’t plan a wedding without a date. And we don’t have a date. Because HE hasn’t officially asked me yet. Nor do I expect a proposal any time in the next 6 months- which is okay but I’d still like to have all the details hammered out before I actually have to seriously plan this sucker. Because weddings cost money and Brian wants a wedding. I was all for sneaking off the Hawaii or Mexico and getting married on a beach with my feet in the sand. But Brian insists on having one here with all of his friends and family. Which is totally cool, except we have to PAY for it. And it adds up quickly
BTW- if you are reading this, you are totally invited. When it happens.
But just to show you how mental I am, here for you reading pleasure is the dream I had…

I was going into Bridal Couture to try on my dress, when low and behold, the owner of the store isn’t there but I can have some ice cream while I’m waiting for him to get there and unlock the dresses, the shop girl tells me. Because a bridal store is the most likely place to sell ice cream?
The owner of the shop arrives and its this CRAZY Mormon guy I used to go to church with who always gave me the creepsies, because he always smiled SO DAMNED WIDE AND BIG. I am now officially afraid, but not in nightmare territory yet. They are pulling out these huge ruffled atrocities, telling me that THIS THIS IS THE DRESS YOU WANT TO TRY ON. And I’m all no, I ordered a dress, where the hell is it? And at the same time eying the ice cream machine. They tell me that really, these dresses(cream puffs) are much better, because they are modest. And I’m yelling “I DON’T FUCKING CARE, IN CASE YOU HAVEN’T NOTICED, I’M NOT MORMON ANYMORE!

And then I woke up, and there were no horrid ruffled atrocities anywhere in sight.

Last night was my first night of real sleep in 3 nights. I’ve been sick sick sick. It was a catch 22, which, btw, is a GREAT book, just as a side note. Any way. Yes. Catch 22- take cold medicine which makes me jittery? Or cough until I throw up? Hmmm. I opted for jittery. So for 2 nights I lay in bed, exhausted but unable to sleep. It was odd last night, finally sleeping, the dreams I had. I only remember a couple in detail- in the one I was kissing the boy I was neighbors with when I was a child. Ew! talk about kissing someone you thought of as a brother. And in the other I was trying desperately to get the gas pump to work, because I was out of gas.
Well, I know where that one came from, my gas light was on this morning, as I knew it would be.
Brian starts back to school today- he’s 38 credits from graduation. He’s taking 2 classes this semester- an upper division history (jealous) and an advanced poly-sci class ( I think advanced statistical methods) Not sure exactly. I’m so jealous. SO JEALOUS!
When things calm down around the office and the campus recovers from the spring class rush I’m heading down there to talk to some people -I know as a single mother there are lots of awesome grants and thingy’s available. And if I can get enough financial aid then I could cut my hours at work enough to where I could go to school and not feel like I’m neglecting Emma. Because I WANT to go to school so much.