Posts Tagged Saga of the Yard from Hell

In other news…

The foreclosed meth house that the police officers told me had to be torn down (because of the meth lab underneath the house) now has squatters!  OH!  The JOY!   What kind of idiots want to live in a house like that and what can we do about it?  The bank so far is not doing anything with it, because it’s only worth the land it’s on.  Low on their priority list.

I’m joining the Idaho Athletic Club and it shall be great and glorious.  But I’m not doing it this week because I’m slightly not feeling good.

A first grader called my almost six year old daughter “HOT”.   Brian has threatened to murder him. She has also asked about “sex”, especially after her other dad let her watch inappropriate things last time she was with him.  I have taken proactive steps and ordered the books “Everything you never wanted your kids to know about sex, but were afraid they’d ask : the secret to surviving your child’s sexual development from birth to the teens” and “What’s the big secret? : talking about sex with girls and boys”.  So now I have to practice saying “The penis goes in the vagina”.  I told Brian that and he asked if we really had to tell her about “all that”.  I said, “Yes, if she’s old enough to be told lies then she needs the truth.”

I’ve officially started my life list.

I swear, by all that is holy, that I am going to hang ONE DAMN PICTURE this week, if it kills me.

I am taking a parenting class on Wednesdays (cause I wanted Jeff to take it and he only agreed to it if I’d take it too, except he still hasn’t taken it and he’s going to be pissed when he gets in trouble with the judge for not taking it) and I’m the only parent there who hasn’t A: lost custody of my child and B: Done Meth.  I’m the only one there by choice and while I have lots of things I’d rather do with my Wednesday, I’m actually enjoying what I’m learning, even if I’m not learning as much as the other people in the class.  The other people in the class are all really nice, and really trying and that makes me happy.

We chopped down a bunch shit and dug up a bunch of shit in our yard. It’s looking better. Our grass is coming back. I love my house!

We are all well, for the most part and healthy and happy, life is good!

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The back yard of doom!

From the Northeast corner

From the Northeast corner

Sorry, Still can’t find the camera- this angle makes the back yard look bigger than it is.  Brian’s been mowing/weed wacking for 2 days and it looks much better.  This yard is 30% thistle.

We have a dip?  I guess you could call it?  I’m going to call the City we live in and see what we can do to level it out- there is a drainage thing at the bottom of the dip.

Looking up from the dip in the yard.  At the random wysteria planted in the middle of the yard?

Looking up from the dip in the yard. At the random wysteria planted in the middle of the yard?

My yard looks bigger in pictures.

The drainage thingy- which the neighbors all tell us has NEVER had any water in it.

The drainage thingy- which the neighbors all tell us has NEVER had any water in it.

I don’t know why I couldn’t  build a retaining wall around it- so that it could still function if needed- and then level  out the rest of the yard?  Note the fence up top- yet another reason why a dog will have to wait for a few more months…. between that beauty of a fence and the thistles:)

From the back porch- that's my man!  You can see the damned trees that must die.  We actually have a really pretty little pine struggling for life between those monsters.

From the back porch- that's my man! You can see the damned trees that must die. We actually have a really pretty little pine struggling for life between those monsters.

We can’t find his clippers either. His hair is getting a wee bit long.😉

Brian’s been slaving in this yard.  He was fussing last night that he wasn’t making more progress.

“Honey, were you not listening on Sunday when your friends were telling you it took them YEARS to tame thier yards?”

“…No…”

“Well START LISTENING!  Unless you want to hire someone to come in and do the work for us, its’ not going to happen in a couple of weeks.  So CHILL OUT!”

I love him:)

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I can’t find my:

Automatic dish detergent, my work pants (I’m wearing jeans) or the other box of towels. Or my camera.

Casualties of the move: My kitchen table and one wine glass (so far).

We went into sign papers on Friday and our loan officer was there.  “I almost never go to signings, but I’m just waiting for confirmation that your loan is insurable, because the program you were going through was canceled as of today.”

FANTASTIC.  We were grandfathered in, and we got the loan that we wanted.  But as far as we know – according to the loan officer, title company and brokerage company- we are the only people in Idaho who got to use the program.

But they didn’t have all of the paper work there, so we didn’t officially close on Friday- we closed yesterday.  Finally. And I was on pins and needles until Cory called to tell me it had funded.

We met the seller on Friday- said he hoped we liked the house, he had not emotional attachment to it- it was a good little house- he’d acquired it as part of  a judgment from the previous owner, who’d rented it out and let it get trashed.  He put new paint and carpet in, because it was too nice of a house not to be loved.

The house is lovely but no one had mowed the yard since our offer was accepted.  When I got the keys on Friday- the listing agent left a note “I came by to get my sign and felt bad about the yard. Sorry! But a little hard work and it will be great in no time!”

The front yard, yes.

The back yard? Is a jungle.  We knew that the back yard needed work, but after a month of no one weed eating it once a week, it’s scary.  SCARY.  As in inhabited by THISTLES scary. It will take MORE than “A little hard work” to get it looking nice.

So when I read that note I was all “Bitch” under my breath.

But she gave us a Scentsy warmer!  So she’s probably really nice anyway.

If I could find my camera, I’d take pictures :)  My phone doesn’t take the best quality photos.

Our subdivision has 2 little parks- and they are both easy walking distances.  Our neighbors are quiet:)

We forgot to put the trash out last night, so I heard the truck coming and woke up yelling “SHIT!” and I totally freaked out Brian- our house came with full trash cans so it was REALLY important that the trash get picked up!  Luckily it does the rest of the subdivision first, so the trash made it out and no one saw me in my pajamas.

So I’m unpacking and settling in.  I love my house.  I’ve never owned my own home before and I’m just thrilled- even thought the list of things to be done grows daily.  Welcome to home ownership!

Brian mowed the yard, and started weed wacking the parts that can’t be mowed- and we discovered that underneath all the lovely TWO FOOT HIGH green grass was an exposed sprinkler pipe with a gaping hole.

But I have roses!  Many many roses!  And lilacs!

And we had 6 arborvitae(plural?) until I jokingly asked Mike, Brian’s best friend(and best man) if he wanted to cut them down for me.  I didn’t think he’d do it- as I only had a little hacksaw- but the man took the saw to it.  I eventually handed him the hatchet.   So now I only have 5 arborvitae.  And as soon as I borrow a chainsaw, I will have ZERO arborvitae!

I don’t like arborvitae.  They make me itch.  And I think they are ugly.  And spider infested.

And it turns out that Mike should have been a lumberjack, because if you give the guy a beer, he’ll try to cut down any tree in sight.  Mike is a really good guy.    He does remind me of a Monty Python character though.:)

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